I have two stuffed turtles next to my bed. They are a daily reminder that I can do anything that is important to me; it just takes me longer than it did before I was sick, and that is okay. It is okay because I create margin or buffer in my life: margin in my physical health, my time, my finances, my space, and my relationships. That way I rarely feel stressed. We all know that stress makes chronic health worse, and making our health worse is not an option if we can help it, right?
So, what does margin look like? How do we create it? The answer is that you have to be intentional. We live in a culture that does not value margin. Statistics say that 70% of Americans have consumer debt, and 50% live paycheck to paycheck. Most Americans talk about being too busy and stressed. Most Americans want more time. So, if we are going to create margin in our lives, we will have to be very intentional. Consider the following categories:
Your physical health: What can you do to give yourself more strength and energy than you have right now?
- Do you exercise? Is it an option? Not everyone can exercise, but most people have the ability to swim. Swimming is the exercise with the lowest impact on the body but still raises your heart rate. It is often not safe for me to run or even sometimes to walk outside. However, the treadmill is less triggering of vertigo for me as long as I am keeping it to a brisk walk. Most weeks I am capable of walking 4 times a week. I am shocked at how much more energy I have on the days I exercise. There will be days you cannot get out of bed, but even on those days, make sure you do your stretching.
- Nutrition: do you stay away from empty carbohydrates and make sure you get enough protein, vegetables, and fruits? This is something you can control. I find that I am noticeably healthier when I eat healthy. Is food something that honors your body or something you go to for comfort? Your need for comfort is NOT something for which you should feel shame. Everyone needs comfort at times, especially if you are in pain. Find strategies that meet the need for comfort but that do not have negative long term consequences. Maybe hot tea can still bring comfort but does not spike your blood sugar. Diabetes or not, keeping your blood sugar form spiking will help lower stress in the body. When eating fruit, eat protein with it so that the protein helps to stabilize blood sugar. It is important when eliminating a food or behavior to replace it with something else. I find that eating fruit helps curb my desire for sugary snacks. I also find that when I am tempted to eat junk food, if I take that as a reminder to pray for someone I know is suffering with chronic pain or chronic illness, it helps me maintain my boundary of not eating the junk food. Also, consider non food/beverage strategies for comfort: a hot bath, a soft blanket, an app of nature sounds. If you are not yet a vegetable lover, start slowly, but then take a multi-vitamin that your doctor recommends. Have you researched the foods that can trigger inflammation? Ask your doctor or your nutritionist about these. Drink enough water. Nutritionists say that we need 1 ounce of water a day for every 2 pounds of body weight we have. Dehydration can cause increased fatigue and increased muscle cramps.
- Sleep: make sure you are going to bed at the same time every night and trying to get up at the same time every morning. Sometimes your body needs more sleep, and that is okay. Just do your best to be as consistent as you can. Create an environment for sleep that is peaceful. Do not exercise in the evening as this makes it more difficult to relax and go to sleep. Do not drink caffeine or have high sugar foods before bed; these can make it more difficult to get quality sleep.
- Take your medications. Get to your doctor appointments. Take notes at your appointments so you do not forget the instructions. Follow your doctor's instructions.
Your Time: Nothing creates more stress than being pressured for time.
- Set your alarm thirty minutes earlier than you think you need. Take 15 minutes in the morning to read and meditate.
- Set an alarm an extra 15 to 30 minutes before you think you need to leave for an appointment. This leaves time for traffic, getting lost, or other issues that may arise.
- Use a calendar. If important tasks and appointments or lists are written down, you are less likely to forget them.
- For longer term goals, give yourself 2 to 3 times longer than you did before your diagnosis or longer than you think it takes others who are healthy. I have 3 classes I have to take in the next 3 1/2 years. If I take one a year, that gives me plenty of time. Yes, it may happen even sooner, but if I spread it out, I am more likely to succeed. With shorter term goals, I figure I give myself weeks for what used to take days. For example, if we are planning on company, I give it days to plan. Recently we had our daughter's graduation open house. I planned for months. It went smoothly, but only because I had that buffer. Plan, plan, plan ahead.
- Then again, be willing to scrap the plan. There are those days when I have a list of things I want to do, and suddenly my body says, "Nope, change of plans. Today is a 'take your meds and stay in bed day'".
- If you live with chronic pain, you get so used to using the mind tools of distraction and self soothing that it is easy to not live in the moment. Mindfulness is a very important tool though for minimizing stress and creating physical margin. Sit, clear your thoughts of all your to-do items, breathe slowly and deeply from your diaphragm, relax your shoulders, and just listen to the quiet or to the birds or the wind. Slowing down and living in the moment not only creates more joy, it significantly lowers stress, which lowers physical pain and often other chronic symptoms.
- Consider what responsibilities you can drop. You can only give what you can give. If it brings you stress or fatigue, you do not have it to give.
- Do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
What are ways you can create margin in your health and in your time? Do you have a symbol that reminds you it is okay to live counter-culture and okay to take care of your needs and be in slow motion. What is your turtle symbol? Do you shame yourself for not getting as much done as your peers, or do you give yourself compassion and gentleness?
Tomorrow, we will discuss the importance of having margin in your finances, your relationships, and your physical space.
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