Mindfulness

Since the benefits of mindfulness or meditation are quite profound, I have decided to give those experiences more time lately. Tonight, I sat outside and just listened. I realized that I could hear many different noises. I could hear the cicadas chirping. This seemed to bring me a sense of peace and relaxation. I also noticed birds singing, a lawn mower, children chatting as they played in a nearby yard, cars passing by, and a chainsaw.

It struck me, I am not usually consciously aware of any of these sounds. I wonder how hard our brains work to ignore these many different sounds during the day as the brain deciphers what is valid to pay attention to and what is extraneous. It is easy to say we do not notice, but the truth is that even if we are not consciously aware, our brain is still working very hard. It is not that we do not hear the sounds, it is that we are not aware of them. So if all that energy is going towards ignoring sensory information, how much stress does that add to the brain??? How much sooner do we become cognitively and physically fatigued?

I wonder......if we were to stop at various points in our day and acknowledge all that our brains are processing, would we have a better understanding of what adds to our fatigue?  Even more so, if we were to get away from the noises of the city, get out in nature and truly mindfully meditate on the sensory information of nature, what effects would that have on physical health?  What effects would it have on cognitive and emotional health?

Rest is not just being in bed when we need to stop. Rest in rejuvenating ourselves with mindful awareness of what is around us and what sensory information brings us peace and joy.

Brain Fog part 2

Brain Fog part 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj40YwNlAfg&t=2s

Brain Fog

Hello, Living Well friends.  Here is one more short video on minimizing the effects of brain fog. Hope it's helpful.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MT-_kvifFQY

Hi There, Living Well World, I just thought I'd share my latest youtube video on identifying the stages and needs of chronic illness.  Here you go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3me-GaD3nZA

Living Well with New Year's Resolutions

New Year's used to be my absolute favorite holiday.  Ryan and I would write out our dreams for the year ahead. Then we would read through what we had written the year before and see what God had done in our lives.

Through a series of events, we stopped dreaming about the future. Life I guess threw us into survival mode, and it was hard to trust that the carpet would not get yanked out from under us again.

Some people say, you always have to keep dreaming.

Now, I say this. Ryan and I are not victims to the trials life through at us. We are survivors, and for the most part, even thrivers.  Life can be hard, but we are not helpless.

So, this year, I want to get back on my annual journal bandwagon, except this year, it is not dreams. This year it is commitments because we are not puppets to circumstance; we are not victims to our illnesses; we are not even survivors; we are thrivers if we choose to be. Life is not happenstance; it is what you make it. Yes, it throws you curve balls, but the resolve is not to just roll with it, nor is it to get up and just expect life to be good again. Either one of those options displays the belief that we are powerless puppets of circumstance. The resolve is, what are you going to do with what you have? My illness does not make me powerless, neither does yours. It may limit you at times; it may force you to get creative, but under no circumstances does it stop you or even limit you from pursuing the desires God has put in your heart. He will always give you the ability to do what He is motivating you and calling  you to do. It may look different than it did before illness, but the joy that follows will be the same joy. You are not a victim to pain any more than you are a bystander when life is good. I'm not saying "name it claim it and your pain will go away". I'm saying, take responsibility where you can and commit to move forward in ways that glorify God and enable you to enjoy Him, to enjoy the life you have, and enable you to bless others.

So, here are my 2019 commitments:

• This year, I will do my best to continue graduate classes.
• Ryan and I have created a LOT of time margin in our lives; it's how we cope with my being sick. This year, he and I both are committed to trying to work more hours and see how it goes.
• This year I am committed to writing regularly.
• I am committed to reading to our son.
• I am committed to continuing time with God in the mornings.
• I am committed to praying for more and more empathy to see my children the way God sees them, treat them with more and more of His grace, and to parent less out of fear of the "what if's".
• I am committed to catching myself when I feel guilty for pursuing the joys God has put in my heart.
• I am committed to continuing to eat healthy. Will I re-start exercise?  If I am reassured that it is safe.
• Here's the hard one: I am committed to not using distraction when life is hard but instead listening even more to my body and treating it with increased nurture.
• I cannot change how others treat me, but I am committed to not trying to please everyone, and if they are unkind, I will remind myself that others' anger is not my problem. 
• I am committed to spending time with friends when I am able.
• I am committed to allowing myself to receive God's love. 
• In full disclosure, I am tempted to get rid of Netflix and Hulu. I'll let you all know next year if I followed through on this one :).

These are not resolutions. They are not dreams. It does not take resolve to treat God, myself, and others well. It does not take resolve to give my fullest to what I was created to be. It takes courage, and it takes commitment. So this year, I am not writing out dreams OR resolutions, just commitments.

AND........I do have some dreams..........because I REALLY want to go visit my sister again. If you're reading this, I really miss you guys, Jen. So, maybe next year's commitment will be to save for many more of these trips to visit loved ones.

My life is filled with many good things, with wonderful people, and with a lot of time margin. It is easy though to get in a rut when you are chronically ill. Don't get back up and expect life to just be good. Don't just survive expecting it to be rough. Move forward with what you have; embrace life to the fullest you are called to embrace it; be the person in other people's lives whom they look at and think, "If they can be that brave, that genuine, that purposeful, I can have that courage too." Move forward with whom you are created to be.

So, what commitments are you considering for 2019? What are you going to do with the gifts and talents and weaknesses you have? What are you going to do, not just to embrace life, but to use it, to mold it, to create a life you love? One year from now, how will you be more of you were created to be?

You are a Hero

You are a hero. Do not tell yourself you are not.  Every day, you push through pain and fatigue and numerous other symptoms when most people would have been in bed? Every day you brave the side effects of medications to live the fullest life you can.  You usually do it without complaining. Others look at you and have no idea how hard you have worked to get to one event this week.  They have no clue that a clean kitchen is a major deal for you. 

My daughter has a t-shirt that says, "Heroes wear dog tags."  The struggle for those of us with chronic health problems is that we wear nothing that shows others we are exhausted and in pain and have pushed through the enemies (symptoms) our bodies face every minutes of our lives. Don't get me wrong, we don't want the glory, any more than a war hero does. If you know war heroes, you know they don't like to talk about it. I am in no way saying we are equivalent to a war hero, just that we are heroes, and we're exhausted from trying so hard to maintain any semblance of normal.
 

Others don't know that you ended up in the hospital from the sound of the shower or that you crawled to the refrigerator because you didn't have the strength to walk. They don't know that you had another anaphylactic reaction to a medication and had to be rushed to the ER.

So, you say, is this post about pity?  No.  We all know that there are those in our lives who get it and those who don't and that we have no power to change others.  What is the point of the post?

It is this: no matter what message others give you; do not under any circumstances let a negative self message enter your head.  You get to know that you are a hero. You get to know you are not lazy or faking it or looking for attention or trying to get out of anything. You get to be your biggest cheerleader. You get to encourage yourself that it is okay to rest, to take care of yourself, to not believe that you are bad or less than just for having a disability that no one can see. You get to give grace and kindness to yourself. You get to be proud of the fact that you made it through a shower. You get to be proud of yourself when you can't make it through a shower and you instead make a healthy choice to take care of yourself and rest. Do not let the culture, your disability, or your own expectations determine your self image.

Media Freeze?

I often wonder how our lives would be different without television, internet, Facebook games, social media. I am guessing that most of us with chronic health issues use electronic media as entertainment to get our minds off of physical pain or other physical symptoms. What did our grandparents and great grandparents do?  Did that give them more life satisfaction without electronic entertainment?

I am guessing the answer is yes.  However, it is not easy to find substitutes. Holding a book in your hands can cause intense neck and shoulder pain if you already have chronic pain. Getting out of the house to go to a sports event is not always an option if you are too sick. What do think would be different in your over-all happiness if you went on a media freeze?

I know this is extreme, but I have also thought about, "What if we did not have internet at home?" In theory we could go to the library to use a computer.  Our library is less than two miles from us. Most of us have unlimited data on our phones. We truly could comfortably due without internet.  At $50 a month, that's $6,000 in ten years. I can think of a lot of things I would rather do with that money.

Would I get more done?  Ouch, I do not know. I do not feel guilty for relaxing.  Taking care of our bodies by resting when we need rest, instead of chasing the extrinsic value of productivity, is a healthy balanced perspective and role models self respect to the younger generation. However, there probably are times when media moves from distracting me from pain into "I don't need the distraction; I'm just wasting time" category.

What do you find are the benefits in your life of media entertainment?  What are the cons?  Would you go an entire week without media to experiment?  I find I cannot answer that question myself or am not yet willing to answer it; although, it might be nice to test the hypothesis and learn.  Would our physical and mental health be better? Would our finances be less strained? Would we socialize more? Would we be less numbed out and more in touch with our emotional needs?

What are your thoughts?

Warning Signs Part 2

Isolation: Isolation is another sign that my symptoms are getting worse, not because I'm depressed but because I'm needing rest.  If you find yourself withdrawing more than your norm, check with your body.  Are your symptoms starting to escalate?  Are you needing rest and self care?

Guilt: Telling yourself you should be getting  more done, that is a sign your body is needing more self care. Make sure you give yourself positive self talk and enough compassion that you are not trying to do more than you can or should.

Physical Tension: Stop, take notice.  Are your muscles relaxed, or are you tense?  Tension is the body's natural response to pain, but unfortunately, tension also makes pain worse. Once an hour, take a deep breath, and lower your shoulders and gain that body awareness so you gain more margin or so you go rest when you need it.

For me, Poorer Coordination is a sign that my health symptoms are escalating. This is my signal that I might be able to keep functioning, but I have to slow down even more.  If I don't slow down, I am liable to get hurt.  Give yourself permission to meet your body's needs for peace and for safety.

Decreased Concentration: Your brain cannot ignore pain, not subconsciously.  It is aware.  If you are struggling with concentration, stop and listen to your body.  Are you pushing beyond what it needs? Decreased concentration may be a sign that your symptoms are starting to flare.

• Slow down, rest, take deep breaths, ask yourself if you need one of your as-needed meds.  
• If you feel you have to keep going at that pace, then eliminate distractions.  Get everything off your desk except for one task at a time.  Make a to-do list, break it into micro steps, and do not move on until  you have checked off the current micro task. Stay in one room of the house and do not leave that room until you are finished with the current task.  Things that belong in another room can be put into a basket to carry out later.  Turn off radio or television. These are great distractions from pain IF they help keep you going, BUT if your body is struggling to concentrate on the task at hand, eliminating these distractions can buy you enough margin to get a little more done.  Again though, be mindful of what your body needs; sometimes taking a five minute break builds margin as well, and sometimes, we just need to go lie down and rest.
• Take a deep breath from your diaphragm every few minutes; exhale slowly, and lower your shoulders.  This gives the brain more energy and often builds attention span.

Appetite Change: It is normal to seek comfort food when your body does not feel good; it can also be normal to lose one's appetite when our body does not feel good.  Of course, we do not want food to be our first go-to, especially as comfort food tends to be high in carbohydrates, which is generally not good for chronic health. It is also not healthy to skip meals.  If you find yourself experiencing a change in your normal appetite, stop and listen to your body.  Is it telling you it needs self care?  Do you have a list of things that bring you comfort? What is your go-to when you are not debilitated but not at your best?  If you become aware of loss of appetite or of seeking comfort, you can then make a conscious choice of healthy forms of comfort.  No guilt here; sometimes carbs are all that will go down when we are nauseated, right? The point is to be mindful.  Appetite change can signal that your body is pushing too hard and needs you to slow down and attend to physical needs.

Inability to feel emotions: The brain can only process so much input at once.  Sometimes it shuts off emotions in order to have more energy to cope with physical symptoms.  This may be a sign that your body needs attention or that your physical symptoms are starting to flare.  

Yes, these are all also signs of depression.  That does not mean you are depressed; although it may IF the symptoms/warning signs last for a more than hours and IF you find yourself not able to experience pleasure for a good chunk of time (days), or if you are having crying spells.  Most of the time, even when we do not feel good, we are able to find our go-to's that bring us pleasure.  If you are able to do that, that signals that your responses, your signals, are not depression but a warning from your body that it needs care.

I find it helpful to catch these early warning signs as sometimes it helps to prevent a full-on flare-up. What are some of your warning signs that your physical symptoms are escalating or about to escalate?  What have you found helpful? 

Warning Signs Part 1

1.  Irritability: the number one sign that we are not listening to our bodies, that we are ignoring our needs.  Stop and listen.  Your irritability is NOT a sign that you need more mental stamina.  It is a sign that you need more self care, more compassion, more mindfulness of what your body needs.

Specifically, for me, irritability is my sign that my physical symptoms are spiking and that I either need to take a med or rest.

Don't wait until your body can't function.  Listen to what it needs before you get to that point.  Don't judge your mood as you being mentally weak.  Take it as a sign that your body needs attention.

How to Prioritize your Energy

Chronic health can be unpredictable.  However, most of us have a time of day when we tend to have more energy and be at our best.  It is important to know this, to communicate it to loved ones, and to maximize your resources efficiently. 

For me, the window starting between two hours after I wake up (likely 2 hours after coffee) and two to three hours after that is when I tend to be at my best. Therefore, this is the time of day I work.  This is the time of day on my days off that I try to spend with my husband. Don't get me wrong; we spend time together in the evenings, but that is not emotionally intimate time.  It is time when we are exhausted and zoning out.  Pay attention to your best time of day, and plan around that, whether it is for social outings, time with your significant other, or work.

Don't go full force during this time.  I know, I know, it is tempting because you fear the window closing.  It is better to pace yourself energy wise but at the same time to make sure that your top priorities happen during that time. The dishes can wait. The laundry can usually wait.  Your relationships and your ability to work for money if you do will be the most beneficial if they are the priorities during that time.

My own spirituality: That still happens for me about first thing in the morning.  Although it may not be my most physically energetic time, it is still how I prefer to start my day.  It sets my mind on things that matter and keeps me from relying on my own strength or lack thereof.  It keeps me listening to what matters in life.

Finally, make a list.  Then prioritize the top 3-5 things you want for that day.  Highlight them.  Anything else is icing on the cake.  Unless you are in a new relationship, make sure your family is written on your to-do list or in your calendar.  It is too easy to get swept away with what you think needs to "get done".  People have to come first and not putting them on your list will make it too easy for them to get the least of your time and energy, which also means, you will enjoy them less and have less joy in your day. Those of you in new relationships know you don't have to write that person in your calendar; it is easy to make them a priority.