You are a Hero

You are a hero. Do not tell yourself you are not.  Every day, you push through pain and fatigue and numerous other symptoms when most people would have been in bed? Every day you brave the side effects of medications to live the fullest life you can.  You usually do it without complaining. Others look at you and have no idea how hard you have worked to get to one event this week.  They have no clue that a clean kitchen is a major deal for you. 

My daughter has a t-shirt that says, "Heroes wear dog tags."  The struggle for those of us with chronic health problems is that we wear nothing that shows others we are exhausted and in pain and have pushed through the enemies (symptoms) our bodies face every minutes of our lives. Don't get me wrong, we don't want the glory, any more than a war hero does. If you know war heroes, you know they don't like to talk about it. I am in no way saying we are equivalent to a war hero, just that we are heroes, and we're exhausted from trying so hard to maintain any semblance of normal.
 

Others don't know that you ended up in the hospital from the sound of the shower or that you crawled to the refrigerator because you didn't have the strength to walk. They don't know that you had another anaphylactic reaction to a medication and had to be rushed to the ER.

So, you say, is this post about pity?  No.  We all know that there are those in our lives who get it and those who don't and that we have no power to change others.  What is the point of the post?

It is this: no matter what message others give you; do not under any circumstances let a negative self message enter your head.  You get to know that you are a hero. You get to know you are not lazy or faking it or looking for attention or trying to get out of anything. You get to be your biggest cheerleader. You get to encourage yourself that it is okay to rest, to take care of yourself, to not believe that you are bad or less than just for having a disability that no one can see. You get to give grace and kindness to yourself. You get to be proud of the fact that you made it through a shower. You get to be proud of yourself when you can't make it through a shower and you instead make a healthy choice to take care of yourself and rest. Do not let the culture, your disability, or your own expectations determine your self image.

Media Freeze?

I often wonder how our lives would be different without television, internet, Facebook games, social media. I am guessing that most of us with chronic health issues use electronic media as entertainment to get our minds off of physical pain or other physical symptoms. What did our grandparents and great grandparents do?  Did that give them more life satisfaction without electronic entertainment?

I am guessing the answer is yes.  However, it is not easy to find substitutes. Holding a book in your hands can cause intense neck and shoulder pain if you already have chronic pain. Getting out of the house to go to a sports event is not always an option if you are too sick. What do think would be different in your over-all happiness if you went on a media freeze?

I know this is extreme, but I have also thought about, "What if we did not have internet at home?" In theory we could go to the library to use a computer.  Our library is less than two miles from us. Most of us have unlimited data on our phones. We truly could comfortably due without internet.  At $50 a month, that's $6,000 in ten years. I can think of a lot of things I would rather do with that money.

Would I get more done?  Ouch, I do not know. I do not feel guilty for relaxing.  Taking care of our bodies by resting when we need rest, instead of chasing the extrinsic value of productivity, is a healthy balanced perspective and role models self respect to the younger generation. However, there probably are times when media moves from distracting me from pain into "I don't need the distraction; I'm just wasting time" category.

What do you find are the benefits in your life of media entertainment?  What are the cons?  Would you go an entire week without media to experiment?  I find I cannot answer that question myself or am not yet willing to answer it; although, it might be nice to test the hypothesis and learn.  Would our physical and mental health be better? Would our finances be less strained? Would we socialize more? Would we be less numbed out and more in touch with our emotional needs?

What are your thoughts?