Living Well with New Year's Resolutions

New Year's used to be my absolute favorite holiday.  Ryan and I would write out our dreams for the year ahead. Then we would read through what we had written the year before and see what God had done in our lives.

Through a series of events, we stopped dreaming about the future. Life I guess threw us into survival mode, and it was hard to trust that the carpet would not get yanked out from under us again.

Some people say, you always have to keep dreaming.

Now, I say this. Ryan and I are not victims to the trials life through at us. We are survivors, and for the most part, even thrivers.  Life can be hard, but we are not helpless.

So, this year, I want to get back on my annual journal bandwagon, except this year, it is not dreams. This year it is commitments because we are not puppets to circumstance; we are not victims to our illnesses; we are not even survivors; we are thrivers if we choose to be. Life is not happenstance; it is what you make it. Yes, it throws you curve balls, but the resolve is not to just roll with it, nor is it to get up and just expect life to be good again. Either one of those options displays the belief that we are powerless puppets of circumstance. The resolve is, what are you going to do with what you have? My illness does not make me powerless, neither does yours. It may limit you at times; it may force you to get creative, but under no circumstances does it stop you or even limit you from pursuing the desires God has put in your heart. He will always give you the ability to do what He is motivating you and calling  you to do. It may look different than it did before illness, but the joy that follows will be the same joy. You are not a victim to pain any more than you are a bystander when life is good. I'm not saying "name it claim it and your pain will go away". I'm saying, take responsibility where you can and commit to move forward in ways that glorify God and enable you to enjoy Him, to enjoy the life you have, and enable you to bless others.

So, here are my 2019 commitments:

• This year, I will do my best to continue graduate classes.
• Ryan and I have created a LOT of time margin in our lives; it's how we cope with my being sick. This year, he and I both are committed to trying to work more hours and see how it goes.
• This year I am committed to writing regularly.
• I am committed to reading to our son.
• I am committed to continuing time with God in the mornings.
• I am committed to praying for more and more empathy to see my children the way God sees them, treat them with more and more of His grace, and to parent less out of fear of the "what if's".
• I am committed to catching myself when I feel guilty for pursuing the joys God has put in my heart.
• I am committed to continuing to eat healthy. Will I re-start exercise?  If I am reassured that it is safe.
• Here's the hard one: I am committed to not using distraction when life is hard but instead listening even more to my body and treating it with increased nurture.
• I cannot change how others treat me, but I am committed to not trying to please everyone, and if they are unkind, I will remind myself that others' anger is not my problem. 
• I am committed to spending time with friends when I am able.
• I am committed to allowing myself to receive God's love. 
• In full disclosure, I am tempted to get rid of Netflix and Hulu. I'll let you all know next year if I followed through on this one :).

These are not resolutions. They are not dreams. It does not take resolve to treat God, myself, and others well. It does not take resolve to give my fullest to what I was created to be. It takes courage, and it takes commitment. So this year, I am not writing out dreams OR resolutions, just commitments.

AND........I do have some dreams..........because I REALLY want to go visit my sister again. If you're reading this, I really miss you guys, Jen. So, maybe next year's commitment will be to save for many more of these trips to visit loved ones.

My life is filled with many good things, with wonderful people, and with a lot of time margin. It is easy though to get in a rut when you are chronically ill. Don't get back up and expect life to just be good. Don't just survive expecting it to be rough. Move forward with what you have; embrace life to the fullest you are called to embrace it; be the person in other people's lives whom they look at and think, "If they can be that brave, that genuine, that purposeful, I can have that courage too." Move forward with whom you are created to be.

So, what commitments are you considering for 2019? What are you going to do with the gifts and talents and weaknesses you have? What are you going to do, not just to embrace life, but to use it, to mold it, to create a life you love? One year from now, how will you be more of you were created to be?