Eliminating Stress, Part Two: Getting the Weeds of Stress out of Your Life

A year after my symptoms started, I was almost completely debilitated. My ear always felt like I was under water, and every day I was off balance to the point where walking was often not an option, much less driving or working.  Many days, for no explicable reason, I would drop to the floor with the room and my head spinning, and within seconds, I would start throwing up, not be able to get it to stop, and end up in the ER to get IV meds and get re-hydrated.

While sometimes, there was no logical explanation for the attack, other times, I could predict some triggers.  Stress would almost ALWAYS trigger an attack.  When your body reacts to stress in such a violent way that you cannot find the floor or the walls, and you end up in the ER with your electrolytes dropping, you learn very quickly to be aware of and to protect your thoughts, emotions, and physical reactions to the stress around you! You learn the self compassion of boundaries:  "My health is worth being mindful of what stress I allow into my body".  Because of my disease, it is not an option to not protect myself from stress.

If I break those steps down, they are as follows:

1. Be mindful of how my body is reacting to what is going on around me.
2. Take a deep breath and quickly process from head to toe if I am tense or relaxed.
3. Do not judge what is going on around me.  When we think something is terrible, we react physically.
4. Decide inside of my head if this is my problem or someone else's problem.
5. If it is someone else' problem, are they trying to make it my problem?
6. If they are trying to make it my problem, what boundaries do I need in order to protect myself from their stress?
7. I ask myself, "If they are asking me if I am willing to help them with their problem, do I have it to give?".  You might have to always tell someone, "Let me get back to you."  This buys you time to internally process whether or not you have it to give. You might have it in you to talk for an hour one day and not the next.
8. If I do not have it to give, what am I going to do to protect myself from external stress?
9. If it is not my problem, and I have it to give, I probably will.
10. If it is not my problem, and I do not have it to give, I will let people know that I would say yes if I could but I cannot.  The most important follow up here is to value yourself enough that you do not feel guilty for saying no.  You have a right to protect your health. You are not selfish for protecting your health.
11. If it is my problem, I take another deep breath to make sure the problem solving stage does not get too stressful in and of itself.
12. Then I decide, is this stresser one that I can change, or one that will remain constant?
13. If it will go away on its own, I do not need to worry about it.
14. If I can change it, then I write out 2 to 3 potential solutions and the pros and cons of each.
15. If it remains constant, can I blow it off?  Can I use distraction and self soothing to get my mind off of it?
16. If it is not going to go away, and I am not able to blow it off, then I have to decide, how much is this affecting my body?  Am I willing to allow that consequence to my body?  If not, then the stresser needs to go.  Sometimes, that is a job, sometimes, it is a change of atmosphere, sometimes it is a relationship or how much time you spend with that person. Sometimes, for me, it is chocolate.
17. Some stress is worth it, but I get to decide.  I get to decide if the payoff is worth it to me.

These may sound harsh, but you have to eventually come to the conclusion that your health is worth protecting.  You are worth protecting. Your health gets to be more powerful of a value than your job or than other people's needs.  Proverbs 14:30 NIV says, "A cheerful heart brings life to the bones....".  Proverbs 15:30 NIV says, "A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones.".  Fill your mind with good news, with things that make you cheerful.  Stay away from things that rob you of peace and joy. 

Reference: New International Version Bible.